A Room with a Review: Raw 06/29/20

It’s another fast-paced episode of Raw. It has to be fast-paced because if they stop treading water, WWE will sink. Let me be your flotation device!

• We are in media res as Sasha Banks and Bayley Dos Straps are beating the snot out of Asuka as soon as the cameras turn on. Samoa Joe is in the ring with them, trying to have a contract signing. A bunch of referees run down to break them up, followed by Dolph Ziggler, who has his own contract to sign. Leather Jacket Drew McIntyre joins them and Joe can finally get things going. Dolph whines, Drew signs, then opines. Ziggler starts talking again until Asuka starts shouting Japanese. She signs her contract and Sasha uses her bedazzled stamp from NXT to add her name. Things break down again, with the heels taking a powder.

• Angel Garza tries using his charms on Ref Jess, but she takes her job seriously and won’t be swayed. Charly Caruso says, “What’s up with that?” and Zelina Vega tells her to scram. Big Show stops by and refers to Garza and Andrade as Ferrari and Maserati, somehow finding a way to be racist towards both Mexicans and Italians.

• After a commercial break, Big Show is in the ring, calling out Randy Orton. Vega, Garza, and Andrade come down and declare that Big Show is about to be a victim of the vaunted Numbers Game. Before they can beat on him, Hall of Fame Coronavirus target Ric Flair comes to the top of the ramp. He puffs up Randy Orton a bit, then tells Zelina to let the boys have fun. The Viking Raiders head out to help and start brawling into another commercial.

• It’s time for our regularly scheduled tag team match between The VegaBoys and The Viking Raiders, with Zelina Vega on commentary. There was a little friction between Garza and Andrade, but Angel gets the pin after the Wing Clipper. That’s two clean losses in a row for the formerly dominant Viking Raiders.

• The IIconics run into Ruby Riott backstage and start mocking her and Liv Morgan, who Ruby is trying to locate. She tells Peyton and Billie to meet her in the ring, and she’ll fight one of them, leaving the other to clean up the mess.

• Next up is a 24/7 Championship match. It’s new champ Akira Tozawa and his band of ninjas against the former champ, R-Truth. Tozawa lets his guard down when Truth fakes an injury, allowing Truth to roll him up and regain the title. A couple of the ninjas try to pin Truth, but he escapes. 

• MVP and Bobby Lashley are backstage, and MVP plans on dropping some knowledge on Apollo Crews. The walk past Murphy and Seth Rollins, who starts getting all Hamlet on Rey Mysterio’s mask.

• After another commercial break, Murphy and the Monday Night Messiah make their way to the ring. Rollins asks Mysterio for forgiveness for what he is going to do to him. Rey Rey and Dominik pop up on the TitanTron to accept the challenge. Seth says he’ll even take out Dom, prompting Aleister Black and Humberto Carillo to head to the ring. Black says he knows evil when he sees it and that Rollins doesn’t get forgiveness, just atonement for his sins. A referee magically appears (they are wizards, after all), and we’ve got ourselves a tag team match.  After more wrestling than we’ve seen in any match over the past two weeks, Rollins pins Carrilo after a Stomp. Seth then takes out Black, and Murphy hits Carrilo with the steel ring steps. Rollins puts Mysterio’s mask on Humberto and tries to take out his eye the same way he did to Rey Rey. Aleister recovers and breaks it up, but not before Seth stomps Carillo on the ring steps.

• Sarah Schreiber asks Drew and Asuka about their mixed tag match with Dolph and Sasha later tonight.

•  Just in case you missed it on Friday, they replay the Undertaker video package tribute they aired on SmackDown. If they play the Boneyard Match again, I’m turning off the show.

• Ruby Riott is warming up backstage when she gets approached by Lana. She’s trying to sell Ruby on the greatness that is Natalya, but Ruby tells her to kick rocks.

• Next up is Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay against Polaris, I mean, Ruby Riott. Royce gets the pin with a spinning brainbuster, following a distraction by Kay. Peyton can go, and I’m glad they gave her a few minutes to show it.

• Big Show is warming up backstage, and he’s already blown up. Charly asks him about Garza and Andrade. He flubs their names and says they are getting the angry giant tonight.

• After a commercial break, it’s Big Show vs. Andrade and Angel Garza w/ Zelina Vega in a handicap match. Even though they have a numbers advantage, Andrade and Garza each do their best to avoid being the one to start the match. Garza gets tricked into starting, but he does his own fake-out to tag Andrade in. They continue back and forth like that until Garza decides to walk away. Big Show chokeslams Andrade and pins him for the win. Afterward, Show adds a KO punch for the hell of it.

• Backstage, Apollo Crews is hanging out with Ricochet and Cedric Alexander, aka the cast of Main Event on Hulu. R-Truth accuses them of being ninjas, then apologizes to Cedric the Entertainer and his favorite superhero, Richard O’Shea.

• MVP and Lashley head down to the ring. They call out Apollo, and he’s going to square off with MVP. A distraction by Lashley and “MVP has pinned the United States Champion.” Lashley gets in the ring to apply the full nelson, but Ricochet and Cedric save the day. 

• After one more commercial, it’s Lashley vs. Ricochet. It’s nice to see Trevor on TV again, even if he taps out to Lashley. 

• It’s main event time. Drew McIntyre and Asuka vs. Dolph Ziggler and Sasha Banks w/Bayley Dos Straps, who will be on commentary. Sasha gets the pin on Asuka after reversing the Asuka Lock. 

There was a lot of action, but much of it seemed recycled. I know they are limited in what they can do in the current climate, but this is getting rough.

What did you think of the show? Let me know in the comment section below.

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