A Room with a Review: Raw 12/23/19

Posted: December 26, 2019/Under: Belts/By: Richard Phillips

Here is this week’s recap of Monday Night Raw, “live” from Des Moines, IA.

RAW 12/23/19

It’s the Kevin Owens Show, but first, a recap of KO vs. AOP (with a special guest appearance by Mojo Rawley). I love KO’s death-sell of the stomp. Owens is interrupted by Mojo, who is armed with a microphone. Mojo looks like he picked up his gear at Adam Bomb’s garage sale. Apparently, they have a NoDQ match scheduled to start the show, which suggests interference by Rollins and/or AOP at some point. KO brings out chairs and tables, even though TLC was last week. Owens wins with a pop-up powerbomb through a table. Amazingly, Rollins and AOP did not interfere during the match, but they were watching a monitor backstage at an awkward angle. They started walking slowly to the ring after KO begged them to come and beat him up.

It took them the entire commercial break to make it to the ramp. Rollins offers a handshake, but Owens responds with a superkick before being beaten down by AOP. He fought valiantly, but KO eventually ate a stomp. Samoa Joe cuts a killer promo from the announcer’s table, as Owens is being helped up the ramp behind him. Hopefully, Joe is going to team with KO when he is healthy.

In events that took place over the weekend, they show R-Truth walking around 30 Rock with his 24/7 title. If this is just a way to have Kenneth Ellen Parcell win the belt, then I will pre-apologize for the things I’m going to say about this. Truth is following an invitation written in Japanese and is looking for the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson tree lighting ceremony. While a bystander explains to Truth all the ways that he is wrong, Akira Tozawa rolls him up to win the 24/7 title and Vic Joseph promises National Lampoon’s level escapades throughout the rest of the show. I’m guessing more Senior Trip than Animal House.

Up next is Lashley with his new fiance, Lana. She looks like she got her contacts mixed with Rey Mysterio’s by mistake. Raw is ending the year with a wedding, which always goes well in wrestling. Oh, a wild Cedric Alexander appears! I really like Cedric. Lana asks to change this to a Greco-Roman style match, so Lashley won’t be bruised for the wedding. Alexander graciously declines. After some great flippy stuff from Cedric, Lashey picks up the win after a spinebuster and a spear.
Part two of R-Truth’s Xmas Vacation… let’s move on.

Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre – 127 seconds total, and that’s only because McIntyre wasn’t in a hurry. Curt Hawkins eats a Claymore for his troubles after the match. McIntyre grabs a mic and, after mocking the Major Bros, proclaims 2020 as his year. I thought it was the Year of the Rat, but what do I know?

Send for The Man! Becky Lynch heads to the ring and says that the WWE has been trying to protect her since she’s now the face of the company. Becky demands that her next opponent be Asuka because she needs to collect on the debt owed by Asuka defeating her at Royal Rumble. The Kabuki Warriors come out and Asuka says a lot in Japanese before declaring herself Asuka 2-Belts™. Becky answers back in Japanese, presumably accepting Asuka’s request for a title shot.

Next is Aleister Black vs. Local Talent #1 (who may or may not be Johnny Swinger). Maybe-Swinger ate a beautiful Black Mass after about ten seconds.

This immediately leads to Buddy Murphy vs. Local Talent #2 (who may also be Johnny Swinger). After another quick squash, Black and Murphy eye each other in the ring. Murphy walks past to exit the ring but bumps Black’s shoulder, which results in another Black Mass. The two will square off next week in a rematch of one of the best bouts from TLC.

Next is a recap of Rey Mysterio’s interactions with Rollins and AOP to set up the US Title match between him and Rollins, followed by a brief interview between Charly Caruso and Rey Rey.

We get a partially televised entrance for Tony Nese, who won the Cruiserweight title at WrestleMania just eight short months ago. He is facing off against Ricochet, in a match full of both flips and fists (you can do both, The Revival!). Ricochet gets the victory after the Recoil.

Part three of R-Truth’s adventures. Man, this gimmick had so much potential but is dying a slow death.

It’s followed up by Charlotte Flair (and pyro!) vs. a debuting Chelsea Green. I never realized how tall Green is until she squared up to Charlotte. She matches up with Flair pretty well. Samoa Joe tried to cut off a misogynistic Jerry Lawler joke, but the King made sure to get it in. Green taps out to the Figure-8, but she looked really good.

Part 4 of the Xmas adventure. Santa hits Tozawa with his bag of goodies and claims the 24/7 title. Santa now has more WWE title reigns than Sami Zayn.

This is followed by a Liv Morgan vignette where she talks about how she had to be who somebody else wanted her to be, even though she was a chaotic neutral character with a blue tongue.

6-man tag: Randy Orton vs. The Viking Raiders vs.The OC – It wouldn’t be Chrismukkah without the OC! Randy is taking a surprising amount of punishment, even selling a bum knee the whole time he’s in the ring. The knee gives out at an inopportune time and he takes the pin after a Phenomenal Forearm.

Erick Rowan is either doing ASMR videos now or he’s talking to whatever is in his cage.

Here come Street Profits to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern us. They say they want the smoke, but they aren’t doing anything to go get the smoke.

Erick Rowan w/ mystery pet vs. Local Talent #3 (most definitely not Johnny Swinger) – Jobber Joe pulls a candy cane out of his trunks and gives it to Rowan. He slides out of the ring and tries to give more candy canes to the mystery pet. This was a dumb decision. Rowan smooshes the guy fairly quickly.

Truth and Tozawa finally catch up to Santa and Truth gets the belt back. Referee John Cone complains about the cold and just quits. Same, John. Same.

It’s Rusev Day! After proclaiming his happiness for Lashley and Lana, Rusev ends No Way Jose after a Machka Kick, does a spineroonie, then parties with the conga line. Rusev is living his best life.

Booyaka booyaka, 619! The main event is Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins for the US championship. Samoa Joe is going to go after Rollins when he’s healthy and I am here for it. Every time Rey slides out of the ring on his belly I think of the sea lion and otter show at Sea World. Of course, AOP interferes just when Rey was about to win. They start decimating Rey and drag him up the ramp to the announcer’s table. Joe refuses to move, then stands up, ready to fight. Seth diffuses the situation, then sics AOP on him. I guess Joe must be healthy, at least until AOP slammed him through the table.

It wasn’t a bad show, especially for one that was recorded after last week’s episode of RAW. I really commend that live crowd for sticking through it. Let me know what you thought of the show in the comment section below.

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