A Room with a Review: SmackDown 1/24/20

Dallas is the site for the go-home SmackDown before the Royal Rumble. Pray for Senior Official John Cone, since we know how much Mark Cuban hates refs.

• The show starts with a six-man tag team match featuring the Usos (Jimmy and Jey) and their cousin, Roman Reigns, against King Corbin, Dolph Ziggler, and Robert Roode. The Usos must have been hanging out with John Morrison because they start doing slow-motion high fives on the way to the ring. Corey Graves gets in a dig at the Houston Astros sign-stealing controversy, since the Royal Rumble is going to be held in Minute Maid Park in Houston. Graves better be careful or he might cut himself on that edge. They do an injury spot with Jimmy Uso, but they can’t decide if it’s his knee or his head that needs treatment. Officials help Jimmy to the back and we get a commercial break while they figure things out.

• It’s now a three-on-two handicapped match. The heels are doing a great job keeping Jey away from his corner. When it looks like he might finally tag Roman in, Corbin pulls him off of the ring apron and throws him into the WWE Universe. Reigns gets a full commercial break to recover and Jey makes the hot tag. Roman takes out Roode and Corbin, but the vaunted numbers game catches up to him and King Corbin’s crew regains the advantage. Jimmy Uso pulls a Willis Reed and comes down the ramp, injured leg and/or head be damned. He hits a top rope splash on Roode for the victory. That was a fun match. This feud definitely needs the energy that the Usos bring.

• Backstage, Lacey Evans is doing an uncomfortably awkward attempt at a sexy photo shoot. 

• After a commercial, Michael Cole interviews Lacey on the stage. I hate Lacey as a face. She should be a heel, just like Dolph and Miz. They attempt to get her over with a promo that sounds like a Miss America pageant interview, but thankfully Bayley saves us by attacking her from behind.

• Backstage, Kayla Braxton is interviewing Carmella and Dana Brooke about the Rumble. There’s a commotion off-camera as Bayley and Evans continue their brawl. As officials finally break it up, Lacey takes off her shoe and starts hitting Bayley with it. Someone must be studying Pete Dunne film.

• There’s a commercial for the Super Bowl pre-game show, starting at 1 PM. God, please don’t let Vince know you can start a pre-show that early. I don’t think I could survive 12 hours of WrestleMania.

• Next up is Bliss Cross Applesauce (Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross) vs Fire and Desire (Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville). As soon as the bell rings, Bayley runs to the ring, a shoe-wielding Evans close behind.

• Elias is noodling backstage when Braun Strowman walks up and tells him it’s time to go to work. Jeez, Braun. You can’t just tell a bum to go get a job.

• We come back from commercial to Elias waiting in the ring. He explains the rules of the Royal Rumble for some reason and sings a dumb song announcing Braun Strowman as his tag team partner, as if we didn’t just see them backstage together. Elias convinces Strowman to sing a duet with him. After dancing with the New Day last month and singing tonight, Braun’s transformation into the Big Show is really coming together. Their song is cut off by their opponents, Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura (w/ El Presidente Sami Zayn). Shinsuke is wearing his gear that makes him look like a Van Halen guitar. Elias pins Cesaro after a Strowman power slam and his own top rope elbow drop. 

• Big E is getting oiled up backstage, even though Kofi is the one facing John Morrison tonight. E and Kofi say they are going to tear through everyone at the Rumble in honor of their boy, Xavier Woods.

• Kayla catches up with King Corbin backstage. He says that tonight’s match has no bearing on their match on Sunday. He’s going to beat Roman and win the Rumble.

• Time for the “It’s all about the numbers” Royal Rumble video package, an annual treat.

• Next up is Kofi Kingston w/ Big E vs John Morrison w/ The Miz. Did New Day get stuck in the Vaudevillains time machine again? Unsurprisingly, this match features lots of good flippy stuff. Morrison wins with Starship Pain after Miz distracts Kofi, taking a Trouble in Paradise to secure the win.

• The main event is a contract signing between The Fiend and Daniel Bryan. I bet Fox is happy that they get all the action-packed main events. Michael Cole explains the rules of the strap match that these two are going to have on Sunday. Daniel comes to the ring sporting his new eco-friendly shirt. Firefly Fun House comes on the screen and Bray is trying to fax the contract to Daniel but his fax machine starts smoking. Daniel says that Bray always runs away, but he won’t be able to when they are strapped together. The Fiend appears in the ring and applies the Mandible Claw before hitting Bryan with Sister Abigail. The Fiend sits down to sign the contract and stabs his own hand with the pen so he can sign in his blood.

• This was a pretty good episode of SmackDown. There was an extra bit of energy and it definitely helped to get the Reigns/Corbin stuff out of the way early. What did you think of the episode? Let me know in the comment section below.

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